Today was my last day with Sherlyn before competition day. When you train and you're sore, your body can retain more water than usual. We aren't training me all through the week so that my body/muscles will have time to heal and be show ready.
Now, let's talk about wants.
I knew what I wanted in terms of the goal and I knew what I wanted out of the process. What do I want on competition day?
Let's start with this:
The last few days have been very emotional for me. I know its a combination of being carb depleted, training hard and trying to get everything taken care of for competition and life in general, but regardless of all of that- it's an emotional time overall. I have worked so hard for the last 3 months, staying insanely focused and determined to reach this goal. It has taken hours in the gym, hours of preparation, and every bit of mental, physical and emotional strength to conquer my days. And now, I've arrived to what I have been working so hard for. To stand in front of the mirror, look at how far my body has come and how far I have come personally, makes me feel things I can barely put into words. Last night, I literally did just that. I stood in front of my full length mirror, naked. Just me, and the progress I've made physically. Just me, and the fears that I've shed. Just me, a better me- accepting (for the very first time in my life), stronger, prouder, peaceful and still. I didn't get into all of this for vanity. It was for health (honestly, read my blog about my allergies and health issues). It was for an experience. I knew, 3 months ago, in the very moment I decided I was going to pursue bodybuilding and compete, that I would put 100% into it and that I'd make it to game day. That's just how I am. But standing there, I was still in awe of what I had accomplished, what I had learned and what I had overcome in the past few months. We all know the definition of dedication and discipline, but to live it is when you truly understand it. I have a better appreciation and understanding for those words as well as who I am. All of this, from training for a bikini competition.
With that, what do I want competition day? Do I want to place? Yes, of course. But I'm not going to expect anything. I have to be realistic. I have come a long way but my body is not 100% show ready. I don't know the girls I'll be going up against but I do know I have worked as hard as I could in the amount of time I had to prepare for this show and that's all I could've done! You better believe I'm going to bring my A game when it comes to stage presence. That's actually more than half of what matters. How would you even choose the final girls when everyone has a sick body. Stage presence and personality account for a lot. The judges have to LIKE you. So no matter what, I will be up on stage, confident and proud, because I am.
My body will continue to change. I will continue training after this competition to lean out even more. I'll be in even better shape for Excalibur December 3rd. I think at that point, I'll be pretty close to where I should/want to be for the stage.
Sooooo what do I want? I want to have fun, I want to celebrate with the people I love and I want saturday to end with only the most amazing memories! Because truly, at the end of the day, my placing does not define me. It's my attitude, it's how I hold my head up, it's what I have learned and who I am today.
Today, I am a better me.
And I am happy.
Love,
Nat
1 comment:
Congratulations on achieving your goal. Regardless of the outcome of the competition, you are clearly already a winner. One of life's most imposing challenges is changing one's habits and you have succeeded. Good luck at the show and in the future.
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